Hand over the good secret box bandit and prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life! It's me SpongeBob! Patrick : Nice try burglar but SpongeBob's my best friend and he'd never steal from me! SpongeBob SquarePants : Hmm. Oh that's great! I work at a restaurant i love frying and i'm very good at it. Sincerely your new best friend!
Behold the perfect letter! Now for the envelope. SpongeBob SquarePants : Whoo-hoo! I'm flying! Patrick : Hey SpongeBob! I can't believe you can actually fly like you said in your letter! SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick? You're Pen Pal? SpongeBob SquarePants : But You're not dying! Patrick : Dying? Oh oh! You didn't read the whole letter! SpongeBob SquarePants : See it says i wish i could watch you because i am dying! Patrick : And here's the second page!
To see you as a real pilot SpongeBob. Here are some other things i like to see: candy rain a firetruck full of clowns and a bunch of other stuff. SpongeBob SquarePants : It all makes sense now! Oh Patrick! Patrick : You thought i was dying! Krabs : All right you leave me no choice! Krabs : Not even close. You're fired. As long as i'm still standing you'll never wear this hat again. SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick are you okay? Patrick : Well i guess it's back to being no hat Pat.
SpongeBob SquarePants : It's okay Patrick not everyone is equipped to bear the awesome weight of responsibility that a uniform hat represents. But you can wear mine anytime you want. SpongeBob SquarePants : Sure thing pal. Patrick : Thanks SpongeBob! You're the best! SpongeBob SquarePants : Anytime pal.
Plankton : You haven't seen the last of me when i get out of here i'll hunt you down like a pack of Can't you read? No flash photography! Krabs : You faker!
Not to mention you were sleeping on the job! Squidward : What are you going to do to me? Krabs : I'm gonna make you pay! Plankton : Curse You Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants : Pick up order! SpongeBob SquarePants : No you have to take the tray to the costumer.
Almost try again and make sure the food gets to the table. SpongeBob SquarePants : Let's try something else. All you have to do is answer the phone. He inked! Squidward : Well pardon my anemone. Well this is terrible. All Patrick wanted to do was be like the rest of us and we punished him for it. Squidward : Who cares? At least now that pink moron will leave us alone. Krabs : I've asked ye all here because we all face a similar problem. The problem being a sea star with a nose that's gotten way out of hand!
Squidward : You got that right yeah! Karen : I don't know why i encourage him. Squidward : Why are you wearing garbage?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Thanks for noticing Squidward and i may say that's a very becoming dress you're wearing this morning. Squidward : Dress? It is not a dress it's a nightshirt. Plankton : You better cough up that secret formula or else! The sky had a baby! Squidward : That's no baby!
That's a giant anchor! Now go away! Squidward : Why don't you two go climb the rope? I'm sure it goes somewhere far away! Now look what you've done! Our hands are clean! Sandy Cheeks : I'm hotter then a hickory smoked sausage! Patrick : Take it easy. It's just a drawing. Squidward : Nothing? We can't just sit here and do nothing! You decided to join the party. SpongeBob SquarePants : We were just gonna play some party games. SpongeBob SquarePants : Tag you're it.
Squidward : I gotta get out of here. Go Squidward! Squidward : There's no way to climb out of here. SpongeBob SquarePants : Maybe if you had more upper arm strength. Patrick : Yeah you should work out more. Squidward : Well why don't i just start right now? After all i got a couple of dumbbells right here. Squidward : Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic. Patrick : What does claustrophobic mean?
You're scaring him! Squidward : It's not working Patrick. Patrick : And you got your elbow in my ribs. Patrick : And stop stepping in my potato salad! SpongeBob SquarePants : Hey hey hey guys? Squidward : Stop pushing me Patrick. SpongeBob SquarePants : You shouldn't fight in here! This is a magical place. Squidward : Patrick get off of me! I told you I am claustrophobic! Patrick : Nice try Squidward but there's no Santa Claus here! Patrick : Hey SpongeBob what's with all the ruckus? SpongeBob SquarePants : No no not evil.
He was just a two dimensional creature lost in our three dimensional aquatic world longing for a purpose. SpongeBob SquarePants : Exactly! See how happy he is? Patrick : He still looks kind of creepy. Up from your slumber I see. Well you're just in time to endure in a friendly game of indoor miniature golf!
Squidward : I will not indulge in anything friendly or otherwise with the likes of you two! And presently I am heading back to enjoy a well-deserved mid morning nap! Patrick : Aw. But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five. Squidward : I don't care! Listen up I will not be woken from my nap again and if I am I'm gonna Patrick : Join us on the back nine? Squidward : Just don't let it happen again! Or else. Squidward : I'm warning you two! Keep It Down!
Karen : Plankton. One percent evil ninety nine percent hot gas. Krabs : Ooh! Money money money money money money money money money money! Squidward : Folks we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen. French Narrator : A slow day at the Krusty Krab. Two ordinary krabby patties but when expertly tossed with the skill of a champ they become Patrick : A one-way ticket to pain!
Krabs : What the devil fish is going on out here? Time is money! And if you boys is wasting time then you're wasting money! And that's just sick! SpongeBob SquarePants : But we were performing a ritual to attract customers.
And the only way the ritual can work is for us to get hurt. Real bad. Krabs : What stupid barnacle told you that? What are you doing in the Fishtraps house? Squidward : You idiots! It's not the Fishtraps house, it's your house and that is still Patrick's house! You just saw a commercial that's all! Patrick : So is Nick Fishkins gonna live in my house? Squidward : He doesn't live in the houses he buys.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Well if he doesn't live in them what does he do with them? Squidward : He flips the houses you dimwits! He buy houses then resells them for a profit!
He flips houses for a living! Patrick : He flips houses for a living? Squidward : Yes! And i'm calling Nick Fishkins right now to come over and flip my house so i can move away! Where's your Holiday Spirit? Squidward : What are you gonna do to me? Patrick : The artist needs a lunch break. Sometimes I gotta move the antenna, sometimes i lose the remote and sometimes my butt itches real bad!
By the way you forgot your briefcase! Patrick : Oh so this is the thanks I get for working overtime? Patrick : Yeah overtime pal. You know what that means? It means working when your just too tired to work You just keep going on working and working! SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh boy yeah you're working and that's the kind of work you're doing?
Show me where I can sign up for this because i've been working my fingers to the bone! You never help! SpongeBob SquarePants : All right Patrick we gotta get started painting this wall with the permanent paint we aren't allowed to get on anything but the wall. Well here we go. French Narrator : One hour later SpongeBob SquarePants : Just a few more seconds of mental preparation and i'll be painting this wall.
French Narrator : Two hours later SpongeBob SquarePants : I'm getting to the painting. French Narrator : Three hours later Patrick : Can you move it along? I'm all out of time cards. SpongeBob SquarePants : No problem. Here I go. Squidward : Rage, fury, irritation, humiliation. You're back to your grown up self.
Squidward : Of course i'm grown up. Why wouldn't i be? Squidward : I think I'm going to be sick. SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward we found your brother.
Squidward : Ha ha! You urchin brains! I've never had a brother! SpongeBob SquarePants : You do now! Sign In. Edit SpongeBob SquarePants —. Showing all items. Fred : My leg! Kids : Aye Aye Captain! Painting : I can't hear you! Kids : SpongeBob SquarePants! Patrick : Finland! Squidward : No. I know he doesn't look like much now, but he could go back to crime [ snaps fingers ] Mermaid Man : just like that [ Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy chuckle; SpongeBob suddenly tackles the Atomic Flounder ] Atomic Flounder : Help, somebody there!
Mermaid Man : No, lad! SpongeBob : But you said he could turn back to crime [ snaps fingers ] SpongeBob : like that. Why you Personified Krabby Patty : Actually in your arteries. Patrick : Breakfast! Barnacle Boy : Uh Mermaid Man? Mermaid Man : Yes Barnacle Boy? Mermaid Man : Uh. Gary The Snail : Meow. Gary The Snail : Meow meow meow. Patrick : Who's the green guy? Patrick : Do i get my reward yet? Patrick : Tarter sauce! Krabs : David H. SpongeBob SquarePants : No. Patrick : I don't need this.
Patrick : I'm going back to work! SpongeBob SquarePants : Work? SpongeBob SquarePants : Overtime? Squidward : Shut up! Krabs : What is it boy? Squidward : Um yeah sure. Krabs : Why? You're 13, or 14, maybe younger or a little bit older, but you're still young. You aren't going to find "the one" for a while, unless there's something there. You don't know. Nobody does. It's not the end. Realize that. We were best friends. She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why.
I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it. She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny. We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper, "I like your eyes.
Suddenly, I got a phone call. It was her mom. She was in a panic. I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like, "Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Come now! I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. SpongeBob, I SpongeBob: Ahh! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Here comes the plane. SpongeBob: It's no trouble. Is there anything else I can do for you, winner? Squidward: No, no, no.
You've already Nurturing a broken spirit sure is a lot of work. Still, it feels nice to do good. Squidward: SpongeBob, can I get a glass of water?
SpongeBob: Good night. Squidward: Thank you. SpongeBob: [gasps] Gary! Squidward is not a freeloader and he would never take advantage of me. French Narrator: Three weeks later SpongeBob: [exhausted] He's just having a hard time getting his confidence back. SpongeBob: [even more exhausted.
Gary looks tired as well] I'm sure he's close to a breakthrough. Gary doesn't look sympathetic, though. SpongeBob: [annoyed] I know he still isn't looking for work! Don't rub it in! Squidward: SpongeBob, where's my lemonade? SpongeBob: Coming, Squidward. SpongeBob: [sardonically] Here you go, Your Majesty. Squidward: I can't drink that. SpongeBob: Why not? Squidward: Are you blind? Just look at it. Squidward: That lemon has three seeds in it.
That's an odd number! I can't eat anything odd numbered. SpongeBob: Fine, I'll just take it out. It's already contaminated by the bad lemon! It won't work! SpongeBob: [annoyed] Hmm, that's two things in this house that won't work.
SpongeBob: [grips the glass of lemonade so hard that it shatters] Two things that won't work! I want soup instead. SpongeBob: Okay, don't move. He then closes the door, and comes back in wearing normal clothes with a bowl of steaming soup] Here you go. It's alphabet soup. I made it special. Now you've ruined my appetite!
Go fetch me something to read! SpongeBob: Oh, okay. How about this? SpongeBob becomes more angry] Get that away from me! You know I'm allergic to newsprint! SpongeBob: [chortles] Ya know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands, it reminded me of something a friend of mine did Time for my stories. Hurry up, they won't hold the show while you laze around. Squidward turns it on to see two puppets: a green puppet, which represents Squidward, and a yellow one wearing a shirt and tie similar to SpongeBob] Puppet 1: [puppet 2 is whistling] Hey, where are you going?
Puppet 2: To my job. Puppet 1: You have a job? Puppet 2: Why wouldn't I? I'm not some lazy, inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day.
Puppet 1: Say, where can I get one of these Puppet 2: Oh, they're everywhere. Puppet 1: Thanks. I'm gonna go look for one, so I can stop Squidward: This isn't my show. Get over here and fix it! SpongeBob: [angrily] I've got a better idea! You know why? Because when I need a job [pokes Squidward's nose] done, I get someone with a job [pokes Squidward's nose again] to do [pokes Squidward's nose for the third time] that job!
Outside, it is day. SpongeBob's house jumps into the air before the side is smashed out as a furious SpongeBob pushes the bed, with Squidward still in it, outside and towards the Krusty Krab while screaming in total fury. Krabs: [talking on his phone] Donate to the children's fund? What have children ever done for me? Now Squidward can come back, right?
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